Resolution Revisited

I will sing of steadfast love and justice;

    to you, O Lord, I will make music.

I will ponder the way that is blameless.

    Oh when will you come to me?

I will walk with integrity of heart

    within my house;

I will not set before my eyes

    anything that is worthless.

I hate the work of those who fall away;

    it shall not cling to me.

A perverse heart shall be far from me;

    I will know nothing of evil.

Psalm 101:1-4, ESV

A couple New Years ago, I decided to make these my theme verses for the upcoming year.  I read them again this week and realized they are just as worthy a goal for my life now as they were then.

These words are more challenging than they may seem at first glance.  How many things do I ponder that are "blameless" or what might I spend time thinking about or looking at that is of no eternal value or "worthless?"  Do I really spend time praising the Lord for his steadfast love and his justice?  Do I live every day "with integrity of heart" and flee from a "perverse heart?"  Do I truly "know nothing of evil?"  

All these things are easier said than done, but the benefit of closeness with my Jesus as a result of my personal holiness and purity in my life more than outweighs the challenge.  These are fights well worth fighting because the victories are so worth it.  

New Year's resolution?  Not really.  Daily resolution?  Absolutely.

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Kisses From Katie

On a day when there are so many things to distract me and discourage me, I am trying to keep my focus on what is true, on what is beautiful, on the hope I have.  So, this is what I thought of:  a book I recently finished.  I am notorious for starting books and losing steam about halfway through, but this one got picked back up at Lodge Weekend and actually got finished!

Kisses from Katie (Howard Books, 2011) is a beautiful, challenging account of a young lady's determination not to settle for the status quo and what would be expected of a bright, college-bound high school grad.  A year of ministry before she started college turned into a new life in another country where Katie Davis would impact others in ways she may not have ever dreamed.  What started out as a trip to Uganda to teach Kindergarten for a year turned into so much more.  After falling in love with the Ugandan people and seeing the extensive needs spread before her, Katie chose to stay there and continue to love people like Jesus has loved her.  Long story short, she dropped all the comforts and conveniences of her normal life in the States and exchanged them for a houseful of girls who call her Mommy, a community where she is a vessel of the love of Christ in practical ways, and a ministry Amazima that cares for hundreds of children in Uganda.

I got this book for Christmas last year, and looked forward to reading it.  But it took me months to crack the cover.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I was too busy.  My days were too full of commitments, running here and there, and trying to get some good sleep once in a while (and I do love me some good sleep!).  A beach trip this summer finally provided the opportunity to start the book.  Sitting in a lounge chair next to a pool at a huge beach house isn't exactly the most convenient time to be challenged about a lifestyle of excess and superfluous comforts.  Talk about conviction.  But the beach trip ended, and the book went back on the shelf, unfinished.    

When I finally finished the book last weekend, all the ways it had challenged me before came flooding back a hundredfold.  The "big" things in my life aren't really that big at all.  I am well fed, well clothed, well housed, well spoiled.  There are things I have to excess what so many lack all together.  If this doesn't impact my lifestyle, how can I call myself someone who walks in Christ's footsteps?  

And then this past Sunday was "Adoption Sunday," and a couple from my church who had recently traveled to Uganda and are now in the process of adopting a brother and sister from an orphanage there mentioned Kisses from Katie.  Coincidence?  I think not.  The Lord has put adoption in my heart more and more over the past year or so.  But I have always thought it was a waiting game since I'm single.  When I'm married I'll be able to adopt.  But does it have to be?  How in the world could I move this a long without trying to rush the whole getting married thing?  I don't know what that looks like, but just opening the doors of thought in that direction might be the start of something bigger than I thought was possible.  Maybe a little like Katie.  Maybe I just have to carefully listen the Lord's leading, follow Him there, and let him do the rest.

Beyond the ways Katie's life challenges my own, I have to fight the temptation to mimic her calling.  She's two years younger than me, but she's done so much more than I have.  Should I pack up and find some orphans to take care of?  Should I give up all that has become normal to me for the sake of an obedience adventure that's glamorous in the eyes of the Christian community? No.  Not necessarily. My obedience to the call of God doesn't have to look like Katie's.  The way she moved across the world to care for orphans makes me quitting my job this summer to live in the same place to work for a ministry seem much more insignificant.  But it's not insignificant.  My ministry matters.  And that's a way the Lord has called me.  But he's not done with me.  I can't just keep living my comfy life, working for a nonprofit, and calling that "following."  I can't settle for that.  I need to poor my heart and energy and life into Jesus and the ministry where he has placed me. I need to have a critical eye of my life choices and fight living in excess.  I need to support others' calls, but I need to follow only the one the Lord has spoken to me.  And I need to make sure I'm listening.

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Traditions

I love traditions.  This is a bit of paradox in my personality because I also love new things for the sake of new things.  But there is something delightfully familiar about having something on which you can count, something upon which you can rely, something that is consistent.  

Lots of my favorite traditions are connected to holidays or a special activity.  Here are a few of them:

• The Filipino breakfast the fam eats every Christmas morning
• Getting iced, blueberry coffee at Dunkin Donuts
• The little song my little brother and I made up for whenever my dad travelled
• The shopping trip Mom and I take every time I go home to visit
• Naming ChezMK's Christmas tree and having all our friends over to eat cookies and help us decorate her
• Playing caroms with Peter
• Playing cribbage with Dad
• My birthday trips to Pennsylvania
• And the list could go on.

One of my favorite traditions is at the forefront of my mind this week because it just took place over the past couple days: Lodge Weekend.

A view of Claytor Lake from the dock in front
of our favorite Lodge: Number 15

This is the sixth time we've taken two-ish hour treck out to Claytor Lake State Park for our legendary weekend at the lodge.  Six times is more than enough for it to merit tradition status, me thinks.

It all started back in 2008 when a few of us were invited to spend a weekend with a couple of our friends' parents at this lake.  This was one of my first times hanging out with The Group, so it was a monumental occasion in my life.  

Since then, we have had a winter lodge weekend, a few fall lodge weekends, and even a Christmas lodge weekend.  

Whatever the weather or season, our times at the lake have been characterized by book-reading, by the fire-sitting, meal-cooking, nap-taking, game-playing, and friend-bonding.  The lodge doesn't have a TV or internet (well, internet that actually works, anyway), so we spend our time pretty much unplugged.  Somehow, the weekend always seems to fall on a time when we could all use a weekend of relaxation without the hustle and bustle of normal life.  There's just nothing like having no agenda and no responsibilities for a day and half and getting to spend it with some of your favorite people.

The Crew from Lodge Weekend V, December 2011 on the front porch
Miranda, Jeremy, Clif, Jenn, Drew, Natasha, Dennis, Josh, Deborah, Jimmy, James, Jeff, Steve, Heather, Kristi

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Status Quo

I love the way the Lord works in my life.  So often there will be a lesson he is teaching me, and it seems that everything I experience points directly toward the specific message I need to hear or truth I need to internalize.  

Right now that lesson is...well, it's hard to label it precisely.  But here's the gist of it.  Don't settle for "normal."  Don't settle for what the world says is normal or right or good.  Strive for what the Lord says best.  And that looks weird to the world.  Even to most Christians it might look weird.  And weird is ok if that's what God says.  

Most 25-year-old ladies are working to establish a career, set up a 401(k), get married, set goals for their future, buy a nicer car, expand their wardrobe, and buy more shoes.  And I want all these things (except maybe the 401(k), but that's a completely different issue).   None of these things are inherently wrong, but if these things are not solely for the glory of the Lord, then wrong would be an appropriate descriptor.  If what I do is anything other than glorifying the Lord, it is wrong because my purpose in this life and for all of eternity is to bring glory to God.

A friend and I are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan together right now.  This is one of the avenues the Lord is using to drive home this message in my life.  He challenges the accepted norm of the American "Christian" life that sees complete commitment to the Lord as crazy with these words:

"If one person 'wastes' away his day by spending hours connecting with God, and the other person believes he is too busy or has better things to do than worship the Creator and Sustainer, who is the crazy one?  If one person invests her or his resources in the poor--which, according to Matthew 25, is giving to Jesus Himself--and the other extravagantly remodels a temporary dwelling that will not last beyond his few years left on this earth, who is the crazy one?" (p. 136)

This is amid a chapter of his book describing some indicators of a life that is genuinely obsessed with Jesus.  I love the description of obsession as "a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated" from urbandictionary.com (Disclaimer: I do not find urbandictionary.com as an authority on definitions or pretty much anything).  Maybe being labeled as obsessed wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Francis Chan goes on to say this, which summarizes the challenge of my life as of late:

"Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo.  A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth." (p. 136-137)

A devotional I read recently reinforces this point:

"Though I [God] have brought many pleasures into your life, not one of them is essential.  Receive my blessings  with open hands.  Enjoy my good gifts, but do not cling to them.  Turn your attention to the Giver of all good things, and rest in the knowledge that you are complete in me.  The one thing you absolutely need is the one thing you can never lose: my presence with you" (Sarah Young in Jesus Calling, 2011, p. 298).

I'm not sure exactly how this should play out in my life or what it needs to look like in my specific situation, but I do know that it looks significantly different than the life I currently live.  I do know that it will take me out of my comfort zone.  I do know that it will require some hard decisions.  Decision that are hard because they go against what is accepted as "normal" or "sensible."  Decisions that are hard because I'm not used to trusting God on a literal, practical level.  My "trust" in the Lord has basically only been on a theoretical level my whole life.  I have trusted the Lord for my next meal, knowing that my kitchen is full of food.  I have trusted the Lord to cover my bills, knowing that my next paycheck would be direct-deposited into my bank account at the end of the month.  But living a life of complete commitment to the Lord requires real trust and may be out of the area I have determined to be my comfort zone.

It's countercultural to hold loosely the things of this world.  Materialism is normal. Being busy is normal.  Being selfish is normal.  Being independent and self-reliant is normal.    But these are the opposite of the Lord's calling for my life and for the lives of all those who claim the name of Christ.  First Corinthians 1 explains that the world sees the life committed to the Gospel of Christ as foolishness and folly.  

So this is the lesson I'm learning.  And I fear I will need to keep learning this lesson over and over again on a daily basis until the day Jesus calls me home.  But until then, I will fight the urge to do what is expected.  I will fight the urge to settle for the status quo.  I will fight the urge to avoid being called weird or foolish by the world.  I will fight to live a life obsessed with Jesus.

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Thailand

This is a little shout out to my ministry, Living Bread.  Today we announced our expansion into Thailand.  I am thrilled to be part of this ministry at such a time of growth.  With a vision for serving the poor around the world, we are excited to expand into another continent.  Prayerfully, this will become our hub of ministry in Asia.  

Read more about it here!

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