What's in a name?

Your name says a lot about you.  I know you don't get to pick your name, but somewhere along the line, it becomes part of who you are, and you become part of it.  So, I've been thinking about my name and different nicknames I have accumulated over the years.  Here are my thoughts on a few...

Kristi:  the name most people I know call me.  In fact, some people don't even know my for-real name is Kristina.  I like my name.  Cute.  Short.  Happy-sounding.

My mom calls me Kristi Beth sometimes.  First name shortened. middle name shortened.  I love it.  I feel like a little girl again just hanging out with mommy when she uses it. 

To some people I'm known as Miss Kristi.  This is one of my favorite nicknames, probably because of the people who use this term:  kids at my church when I'm teaching a class or just hanging out with them and kids I babysit.  Something about a sweet child being so excited to see me and calling out "Miss Kristi!!" just makes my heart smile.

Kristina:  I have mixed emotions about being called Kristina because two types of people call me that.  1)  People who don't know me worth beans and have only seen my email signature or the name plate on my desk.  (Me no likey.)  2)  People who know me well, know that I usually go by Kristi, but call me Kristina anyway knowing that not many people do.  (Me likey.)

Finch, Finchy, Finchworthy (or any other variation of my last name):  I also like these nicknames.  I think what I like about these is just that when they are used, people want to call me something other than my first name but don't want to get too crazy.  I see this as them using a term of endearment.  I like that.  

Another not-so-expected nick name I have is Pookie.  That's right, Pookie (or the ever-popular variation, Pooks).  A couple of my close friends share this nickname.  Just typing it out makes it sound silly and funny, but in real life, it feels totally normal, and I probably use this just as much as (if not more than) my friend's real name.

I love nicknames because what someone calls me is a bit telling about my relationship with them.  If you have a special name for me, then I feel like I am special to you.  Not in a ushy-gushy-lovey-dovey way, but in a I'm-glad-you're-my-friend way.  There's something fun about having a name that just for you or that just used by one special person in your life.  In fact, I fully intend to name my future children in such a way that is conducive to having a great nickname.  

Do you have any special nicknames in your life?  What's your favorite?  Why do you like it?  

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Ready or Not, Here Fall Comes!

The arrival of fall is imminent.  Before I know it, I'll be sure not to leave the house without a jacket and will reinstate hot tea as my breakfast staple after its hiatus for the summer.  There's something special and magical about fall.  I can't put my finger on what is it exactly, but I think that's part of what makes it so great.  Something involving the cooler (but not too cold just yet) weather, the crisper air, the leaves changing colors, trips to an apple orchard, enjoying warm drinks on the front porch, pumpkin flavored everything....there's just something about fall.

One of the things that makes fall so refreshing might be that things seem to slow down a little.  I know the schedule is still full, but somehow, things just seem a little slower.  My summer was a bit busy, to say the least.  I was traveling more weekends than I spent at home, and those times I was at home, there were often out of town guests to entertain or other exciting activities happening.  Either way.  Busy.  There are a few fall trips planned but not as many, and they seem fewer and farther between (ok - now that I look at the calendar, they really aren't fewer or farther between, but somehow it seems that way).  

All that to say, now that I'm on the doorsteps of fall (and having spent a few hours of alone time driving to and from Pennsylvania this past weekend), I've really been thinking about all that happened in my life over the summer.  I don't know about you, but this summer has been one of learning and growing and stretching and challenging.  Through several different situations and opportunities, the Lord has really been teaching me to have a different perspective and different priorities in my life.  

I plan to share more about these challenges and how they have prompted some changes in future posts.  BUT  I really want to hear if there's any ways you have been challenged this summer.  Now that summer is coming to an end, what do you see when you look back?

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Selfish Socks

I haven't posted in a while, but there have been several times when I've thought of something profound and wanted to post but haven't quite gotten around to it.  I think that's one of the symptoms of the ridiculous busyness of my life.  But, that's a whole different story.


The Lord has really been working on my heart and in my life in the past couple months.  I'm not sure where he's leading me, but it is evident that we're headed somewhere.  I'm excited to see where that may be.  


One of the things God has used in my life to challenge me and help me reshape my thinking was my recent trip to Brazil.   This was my second time to travel to Porto Alegre, Brazil with Living Bread Ministries, a ministry working to plant churches in poor communities.   I was challenged in several ways throughout the trip, but the first challenge happened while I was packing.  Though it's a sweltering summer here in Lynchburg, in south Brazil it's the beginning of their winter, so I was trying to pack layers to prepare appropriately for their weather: warmish (upper 60s, maybe low 70s) in the day, cool (50s) in the evenings.  


I decided that flip flops or sandals wouldn't be wise since it would be chilly, and we'd be walking all over dirty streets. Thus my need to pack socks.  So, I stood in my bedroom counting out how many days we'd be traveling pulling that many pairs of socks out of my so-stuffed-I-can't-always-close-it-properly sock drawer.  Then I decided I didn't want to wear certain pairs of socks, so I swapped them for other pairs I like better.  I have so many pairs of socks that I could be choosy about which 12 pairs I packed for the trip.  More. than. 12. pairs. of. socks.  Really?  Who needs that many socks?  I mean, I do laundry often enough that even if I wore a pair of socks every single day (which I don't), I wouldn't need that many.  


I know there is nothing inherently wrong with having a bajillion pairs of socks.  But, I think my ridiculous number of socks is one indicator/symptom of my oh-so-comfy lifestyle of excess, convenience, instant gratification, and self-ward focus.  I don't live so selfishly on purpose, but it happens by default, by lack of intentionality to live selflessly.


So, I realized that I have too many socks.  And too many most other things in my life.  I was packing to go on a missions trip to serve people, many of whom don't have ANY pairs of socks, and I was being picky about which 12 pairs I was packing.  


I'm betting you can probably guess where I'm going with this.  I haven't cleaned my sock drawer out yet, but I am actively reevaluating how I am using my resources and what I am doing to be intentionally outward-focused instead of inward-focused.  There are so many people who have various needs in my neighborhood, in my town, in my state, in my country, and around the world.  What am I doing that will have a positive impact on them?  I have been blessed with so much, but I so often just enjoy these blessings myself without sharing them with others.  


So my sock challenge is to use my resources to bless others, to use what I have to the benefit of someone other than myself.  


....and this was before I even set foot on an airplane headed to Brazil.

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Wait for it...

At present I am sitting in an airport waiting for my next flight to board.  At the current time, I expected to be home and hopefully napping by this point.  However, things don't always go how I plan or expect them to go.  Our red eye was running late, so we missed our connection, so here we sit.  


Waiting.  This seems to be a common theme for my life and, as I've come to observe, for really everyone's life.  We're all waiting on something.  A new job.  A new house.  A ring from that boyfriend.  A baby.  The next step.  Something that we want that we don't have now.  


As I sit here in the airport, I'm reminded of the little (if any) control I have over my waiting and when the reality for which I am waiting comes to fruition.  Now, for instance, I can't change that we missed our flight.  I can't change when the next one will leave.  I am not responsible for these things.  I am, however, responsible for what I do during the waiting.  Sitting here in the airport, I am catching up on a couple emails, chatting it up with one of my favorite people on gchat, thinking about the fun times that were had on our trip, and day dreaming about my bed.  These activities sure beat complaining about something over which I have zero control.  


So it goes with the big things for which I wait.  I don't know when or if I'll see those things come to reality.  (Unfortunately, you don't get a boarding pass with the exact time and location of your next move for those big, life events!)  So I just have to make sure I'm doing the best that I can with what I have while I'm waiting.  


A wise pastor I know once said, "What you learn during the waiting is just as important as what you're waiting for."  This a good reminder for me on a consistent basis.  Am I wasting this time I have waiting for something bigger and better?  Am I missing the opportunities I have right now?


So, like my dad always says, "Hurry up, and wait!"  ....but be determined not to miss what's going on while you wait.

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Light as a Feather

You know that feeling after you complete a sizable task?  Getting to check something off the ol' to-do list.  A burden lifted.  One less thing to worry about.  That's how I feel after I submit final grades for the course(s) I teach.  Papers have been graded.  Scores have been calculated (not by me, thanks to Grade Center in Blackboard).  Done.  Check. Moving on.


The exciting part is thinking about all the things to which I can look forward now that I don't have (as much) grading to do:


Upcoming trip to California - I haven't really spent time on the west coast, especially not in my adult life so far.  Other than a trip to Oregon as a kid and a few layovers in LA and San Fransisco, I'm a first-timer and very much excited about it!


More time to read - I'm about a million books behind Miranda on our reading list (ok, not a million, 4, I think).  Not that it's a competition, but tracking together helps us both stay on pace to finish the list.  I'm about 170 pages into 1000+ page Gone with the Wind, so I better get moving!


Catching up on life - Am I the only one who feels like I'm always one or two steps behind?  I think it's my chronic problem with over-committing myself to everything and not leaving enough downtime or buffer in my life that is to blame.  Either way, I'm learning to say "no" more (not my strongest suit) and not feel guilty when I have nothing to do.  


I get so caught up in doing things that I often forget about being.  I don't want to have a million things to do and no time to do them.  I would rather have one or two things to do and plenty to time to do them to the best of my ability.  But unfortunately, the list of things to do keeps growing:  organize/print pictures for albums, clean the office, plant flowers out front, sort through closets to weed out things I don't wear, buy luggage, start thinking about packing for upcoming trips, etc., etc.  


As silly as it may sound, I really am looking forward to getting these things done.  It is an opportunity to worship through my activities and my time management. I have largely failed in this area thus far, so I'm praying that I can take steps toward being a good steward of my time.  I want to glorify the Lord in all things including (especially) the way I spend my time.  His desire is for me to be filled, not for me to be burnt out.  Yes, I need to do the things on my list, but I don't need to become overwhelmed and stressed about them.  


This is a constant battle I fight, so reading Oswald Chambers' words a few nights ago really struck a cord with me.  He says this relating to Matthew 6: 25 and 33:

Jesus did not say that the person who takes no thought for anything in his life is blessed— no, that person is a fool. But Jesus did teach that His disciple must make his relationship with God the dominating focus of his life, and to be cautiously carefree about everything else in comparison to that.

I like that.  "Cautiously carefree."  These are words that I would like to be used about me someday.  I want to live with a certain wisdom and caution, but I also want to be able to have a light, carefree air about me.  Do things on a whim knowing that I haven't neglected any of responsibilities.  Prayerfully, that's where I'm headed.


So, here's to being cautiously carefree and light as a feather!

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