On a Day Like Today

Have you ever had a day when you feel uninspired and unmotivated?  I'm having one of those days.  Not sure why, but it happens every so often.  I have no reason to be more unmotivated today than any other day.  Perhaps on the contrary.  I have lots of reasons to be motivated today.  I have lots of work to do, lots of great blessings in my life, lots of people who surround me with love, and a wonderful Savior who gives me breath each day.  Still today, focus and productivity escape me.

Days like this provide a good opportunity for me to sit back and remind myself of all the reasons I have to take action against the doldrums in which I find myself.  There's one specific reason I have in mind at the moment, and it's something I haven't shared on this blog as much as I should have yet.

As you may have gathered through earlier posts, I went through a pretty big transition this summer.  I quit my day job and traded it in for a position at a support-based ministry, Living Bread.  I share a little about my transition here and here.  

Living Bread Ministries is an organization that exists to plant churches among the global poor, addressing not only the spiritual needs of poverty stricken communities, but also their physical, social, and emotional needs.  It was founded by Patrick and Barbara Hubbard, a couple I have gotten to know and love over the past couple years.  

My role within the ministry is that of administrative coordinator.  I am trying to take over the office duties to allow the Hubbards to invest their time and energy in expanding the reach of Living Bread, ultimately changing more lives for the sake of the Gospel.  Though I have some experience in administration, this is still a new adventure for me.  I went from a scheduled 8-5 desk job to a working-from-home, as-flexible-as-I-need-it-to-be role.  This newfound freedom has been the biggest adjustment by far.  I enjoy some aspects of it (like wearing jeans if I want to and not having to set my alarm as early), but I struggle with other parts (like resisting the urge to spend my day doing laundry and housework instead and not having an office full of people with whom to interact all day).  I am not good at alone time, and suddenly, I find myself with a lot of it.  Over all, I've been doing ok, but some days (today for example), I can think of about a million things I'd rather do than sit at my desk working all by my lonesome.  

When I get stuck in one of those moments of a I-can't-be-by-myself-for-any-longer-or-I'll-go-crazy mindset, I try to refocus on why I do what I do and how my investment of time and energy will have an impact on eternity.  I didn't quit my job so I could be my own time-manager.  I didn't quit so I could have a job that could travel with me.  I didn't quit so I could stay up late and sleep in the next morning if I want to.  These are all great benefits to this new role, but none of them is the primary reason I do what I do.  I do what I do because I want to support this ministry.  Because through the ministry of Living Bread, churches are being planted, the Gospel is being taught, families are coming to know the love of Christ, lives are touched, and forever is impacted.  I do what I do because it matters.  It matters today.  It will matter tomorrow.  It will matter for eternity.  

And if that isn't motivating, I don't know what is.

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A Weekend Later

Weekend projects are fun and rewarding.  A short time commitment (two days usually) and a sense of accomplishment (assuming the project gets finished).

My weekend project:  repainting my porch rockers.  

I got these lovelies a couple years ago, and they have gotten lots of good use.  There are few things I enjoy more than a cup of tea and my Bible study on my front porch, sitting in the sun with a good book in the afternoon, or chatting with a friend in the evening.  I have loved them as long as I've had them, but I decided that since the paint was mostly chipped off, it would be in all of our best interest (mine and the chairs', that is) for them to get a new coat of paint before the winter rolled in.  

I found some new cushions on sale a few weeks ago while I was out shopping with my mom.  A trip (or two, cause I might have underestimated how much paint I'd need) to Lowe's for some spray paint in a coordinating color later and I was ready to go. 

Here's the end result.  Lovely.  Fresh.  Clean.  Favorite.  Complete with new fall flowers.

Bring on the cooler weather and another cup of tea!

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Scout

I just tucked the sweetest little girl into bed.  I should be grading right now in the first quiet, not kid-filled moments of my day, but I just can't help but think about the precious moments she and I have shared together over the past two days.  

My wonderful friends Brendan and Hannah let me steal their daughter for a couple days.  She and I have been friends since the very beginning.  Quite literally.  As in, I was in the room when she was born, and mine were one of the first pairs of arms to cradle this sweet child.  We have been tight ever since, and I'm fairly sure her favorite color is purple because mine is.  

We lived in the same town until she was one and a half or so.  Four hundred miles have separated us ever since.  Though it might mean fewer in-person interactions, the miles haven't put a dent in our relationship.  There are plenty of weekend visits, Skype chats, and, now that both her mom and I have iPhones, Facetime!

Now that she's about a month shy of her fifth birthday, we (her mom and I) decided we would try a few days at Kristi's!  She loved the idea and apparently spilled over with excitement when she was told the visit had been scheduled.  I was in town for her little brother's birthday, and she came back to my place with me. After a longer-than-she-expected seven hour drive with a little bit of a carsickness incident, we arrived at Chez MK for a lovely time together.

The last 48 hours have held some of my most precious memories with this sweet child.  We have read books, laid on a blanket in the sunshine, hung out with a bunch of friends, ate burritos for Moe Monday, gone for a walk, splashed in water fountains, colored, snuggled through movies, sipped hot chocolate on the front porch in our morning robes, played in a bubble bath, took pictures, gathered leaves and acorns, named a pumpkin, worked on Kindergarten, gone grocery shopping, quoted movies, sung along with the Tangled soundtrack, and giggled a lot.  

Tomorrow we will meet her mom halfway between her house and mine for her to go home.  The days have gone by far too quickly and with not nearly enough napping (She has informed me on multiple occasions that she doesn't take naps anymore and that she can't have red dye.), but I wouldn't trade them for the world.  This little girl holds a very special place in my heart, and there just aren't enough minutes in the day to spend together.  She's been my pretty ever since I first held her in my arms, and I savor each precious moment we spend together.  

Meet Scout.

Ready for the oh-so-long drive from her house to mine.

Rockin' the shades cause the sun was just so bright.

How does this tiny little girl take up a whole queen size bed??

Crossing the Wards Road bridge together.

Starting the day off right with a cozy robe and some hot chocolate.

After finding my wide-brimmed hat.

Splash park fun!

Our pile of leaves and acorns.

My goofy girl!

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Feels Like Home

This weekend I'm in Pennsylvania.  It amazes me how much a place can feel like home even when you don't live there.  It amazes me how much a place can make my heart smile.  It amazes me how a place can just feel so right.  

I lived here for five years while I was in middle and high school.  My family moved away from here, so it isn't even the "home" I visit for holidays, but it still holds a special place in my heart.  It's a good six and a half hour treck from where I live now, but it's worth the drive every time.  This is the place where I have a wonderful church, so many great memories, and friends who are practically family.  

This weekend, I'm here for a special little boy's third birthday.  My good friend Hannah's little people are a couple of my all-time favorites.  Her almost-five year old daughter and I are especially tight (she'll be hanging out with me for a few days next week; I can't wait!), but it is her little guy turning three that we're celebrating today.  It make me so happy that he knows me even though we've never lived in the same place.  A weekend visit here and there with a few Skype dates sprinkled in are the ways we've bonded.  Apparently it worked because yesterday as we were lounging on the couch watching a movie, he proclaimed, "Kristi, I love you."  There is about nothing as sweet as those words unashamedly coming from the mouth of a little one.

I make it a point never to miss their birthdays, so every September and October (and other times as I make excuses/reasons to make the trip) I head north for a wonderful weekend in PA.  I mean, tell me Buzz Lightyear isn't worth it!  

They say "Home is where your mom is."  And I have to agree with that.  But you can have more than one "home," right? Cause I know I do. And this place is one of them.  As I love to say: YAY PA!

My pretty Scout; my Buzz Lightyear, Jude; their mom, my PA sister-friend, Hannah

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I'm bad at this.

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm bad at this.  Blogging, that is.  I neglect this poor thing for weeks at a time.  I feel like every post has to be some sort of literary genius packed into a few words.  I always want to have something profound to say, but the truth is, I don't.  I don't always have a great insight into life, love, and everything in between.  I'm self-admittedly bad at this.  

And, as was aforementioned, I hate to admit it.  I'm a perfectionist.  A frustrated perfectionist, if I'm honest, but still a perfectionist.  I always want things to be just right.  And, well, most of the time, they're just not.  (Hence the frustration.)  So I have set a goal for myself: not to be perfect.  Just to be.  This applies to everything, not just by blatant neglect of this blog for purposes of not wanting to encounter my imperfection.  How this should look:  writing more frequent posts, even if they're not long enough, profound enough, witty enough, insightful enough, or inspiring enough.  Sending more cards, even if they're not on time, the card doesn't perfectly illustrate the event or my relationship with the recipient, or it doesn't have the prettiest lettering I've ever done.  Calling friends more, even if I don't always have at least 15 minutes to chat, don't have a really funny anecdote to share, or can't remember exactly what was going on in their life the last time we talked.  Being a better friend in general, even if I don't always know the right thing to say, forget their favorite color, or miss their birthday.  Pouring myself into my ministry, even if I don't have a life-changing breakthrough about how it will change lives, don't always feel like I'm doing any good, or struggle to know what is the biggest priority or what to do next.  And then some.

There.  It's out.  I'm not perfect.  (I'm sure you're about as shocked as I am.)  But if I keep holding out for perfect, I'm going to be holding out a long time.  I don't want to miss out on something really, really great just because it's not perfect. 

(Also, just so you know, this post is filled with fragments, and I know it.  And I'm not going to change it.  It's not perfect.  Boom.)

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