All that to say, I have been a bit (read: really) uncertain about all this. Did I make the right choice? Did I wait too long to make it? Did I make it selfishly? Did I weigh all the options appropriately?
On Friday night, after I'd made my decision, I was reading that day's devotional in Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest as I do every night (ok - almost every night). I'm pretty sure that entry was strategically placed on April 29 for me to read that night. Though all of it was spot on with what I needed to hear, here are the portions of it that especially jumped out at me:
Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life - gracious uncertainty is the mark of a spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. [...] We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task he has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. [...] We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. [...] Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in - but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.I'm so thankful that despite all the uncertainties of life and any of the decisions I could have made, I can always be certain that following the Lord is the way to go. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but I'm looking forward to the surprises of abandoning my ideas of where I should be for faithfully following. Though following can be scary (I can't see where I'm going; I just have to trust that He can and does), I know it's the best choice every time. And I really do like surprises.